I constantly fear sitting on other people’s laps because I feel like I could break their bones with my booty. #IsThatWeird?

sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit


Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share

sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

image

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

image

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share

africant:

the motto

africant:

the motto

We knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.

Chris Evans is drunk in love in the new trailer for A Many Splintered Thing. [x)

"You are the one millionth guest of the 
Biggerson's Restaurant family!"
- (3.03)
themarchingmaniacs:

ramis17:

Remember this tip everybody.

4) HYDRATE

themarchingmaniacs:

ramis17:

Remember this tip everybody.

4) HYDRATE

Or purple. Or both.

giraffesandtheclap:

I did white. Here have some depressing purple.

It’s your cheek after he hits you hard enough to dislocate your jaw (for the second time), and when the nurse asks what happened you claim you tripped. She pretends to believe you, because it’s less paperwork and let’s be honest - she doesn’t know you, so why should she care? Her scrubs match the blooming bruise, you observe idly. You feel twitchy.

It’s the grapes you remember him feeding you last summer, one by one, before all the problems began.

It’s your favorite sweatshirt, now hanging loose over your bones. 

The concentrated juice you spilled on the counter last week. Watching him watch it drip stickily down the cupboards like clotting blood before he turned, arched a single eyebrow, and advanced.

The cover of that book you read in high school - Romeo and Juliet? Ha. You knew back then that wasn’t love. Though, this isn’t either. You think your copy is gathering dust in the shed, but you can’t go look for it or the neighbors will see your much-too-loose sweatshirt and the never-fading bruises and “we can’t have any more questions, can we sweetheart?”. So the star crossed lovers sit behind their cover, wrapped in the shades of royalty.

Did you know that’s the color of royalty? It is. Because whatever they used to use to make it was too expensive for peasants, though now color doesn’t change the cost of things (unless we’re talking diamonds and rubies, which we aren’t because why would he buy you jewelry?).

It used to be your favorite color. But you’re kind of over it now that it never leaves your skin.

heartbreakirwin:

Out Of My Limit - Kiis FM
lescontesdefees:

macromvontus:

ughsocialjustice:

clara-impossiblesoufflegirl:

seerofsarcasm:

nesquiksand:

with-fronds-like-these:

sinking-memories:

I don’t know if you guys know this or not but the girl and the sailor didn’t even know each other, the sailor was drunk and sexually assaulted her in the street and they got off the boat. history lesson. boom.

UM
NO
THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED
Upon hearing the news that the war was over, everyone was celebrating in the streets. The sailor was overwhelmed with the joy of the moment and grabbed a nurse and kissed her before they parted ways. She didn’t see it as a sexual assault, she understood that everyone was celebrating. And it certainly wasn’t simply a drunken act.
Stop trying to ruin this picture. It captures the joy of the end of a really awful time. 

If I’m not mistaken, these two remain friends to this day. 

You aren’t mistaken, they visit each other and their families and exchange christmas cards.
And this is him now:

GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT PEOPLE. LORD

boom.

tumblr social justice shut down by tumblr historians. love it

What messes me up about these kind of posts is that the OP must’ve written that entire thing out without fact checking and posted it without checking where did they even get that information and if they made it up then why, why would you do that

lescontesdefees:

macromvontus:

ughsocialjustice:

clara-impossiblesoufflegirl:

seerofsarcasm:

nesquiksand:

with-fronds-like-these:

sinking-memories:

I don’t know if you guys know this or not but the girl and the sailor didn’t even know each other, the sailor was drunk and sexually assaulted her in the street and they got off the boat. history lesson. boom.

UM

NO

THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED

Upon hearing the news that the war was over, everyone was celebrating in the streets. The sailor was overwhelmed with the joy of the moment and grabbed a nurse and kissed her before they parted ways. She didn’t see it as a sexual assault, she understood that everyone was celebrating. And it certainly wasn’t simply a drunken act.

Stop trying to ruin this picture. It captures the joy of the end of a really awful time. 

If I’m not mistaken, these two remain friends to this day. 

You aren’t mistaken, they visit each other and their families and exchange christmas cards.

And this is him now:

GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT PEOPLE. LORD

boom.

tumblr social justice shut down by tumblr historians. love it

What messes me up about these kind of posts is that the OP must’ve written that entire thing out without fact checking and posted it without checking where did they even get that information and if they made it up then why, why would you do that
books-tea-life:

memeguy-com:

Didnt I say you were grounded


was that a fucking pun

books-tea-life:

memeguy-com:

Didnt I say you were grounded

was that a fucking pun

atheisticasshole:

Wait but hear me out

  • ravenclaws that hate studying and procrastinate every assignment
  • hufflepuffs that curse like sailors and that look like they could definitely fuck you up if they wanted to
  • slytherin that are really nice and sweet who constantly ask how your days going and if you need help with something
  • gryffindor that are scared to kill the spider in the corner of their rooms because who knows if that shit can fly or if it’ll attack you